Philips Phile Surefire Birth Recipe

(Directions must be followed exactly)

1. The pregnant mother MUST be past her due date.
2. The father* of the unborn child MUST purchase a newbox of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese (the original elbows with the powdered cheese in the blue box), and a bottle of A-1 Steak Sauce.
3. The father* MUST make the entire box of Mac. & Cheese while the mom-to-be sits on her fat ass.
4. The mother can add as much or as little (the more, the better) A1 Steak Sauce to the Mac. & Cheese.
5. The mother MUST eat as much of the Mac. & Cheese as she can, preferably the entire box.
6. The proud father* should start packing the bags and warming up the car because mom will be in labor within 24 hours.
7. Send us a picture of the rug-rat.

* Note: Any male figure will do if the father is in prison or in the witness protection program.

The surefire recipe is guaranteed to work, (at least 9 out of 10 times) And if it doesn't, it means YOU screwed it up!